Tag Archive for Bodylanguage

Non Verbal Body Language Dictionary ::S::

by Christopher Philip • March 28, 2010 • 0 Comments

Did we forget a nonverbal term? Suggest it in the comment box or e-mail it direct, and we’ll be ecstatic to add it! With well over 500 terms, the BLP dictionary is growing to be the largest free nonverbal dictionary in the world! Brought to you exclusively by The Body Language Project! Visit our homepage for more free learning.

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Sadness: A raise of the inner eyelids into an inverted “V” accompanied by a lift of the lower eyelids. Often accompanied by lines across the forehead with the mouth pulled downward and a droop in the eyelids. Sadness also sees an overall depletion of energy, enthusiasm, trembling, slowing of metabolism and crying.

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Salute or obeisance: A gesture done by raising the hand with fingers outstretched rigidly to the side of the head near the temple. It is usually done in a military context, but can also be done in ordinary context. The gesture is designed to show respect among rank.

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Sarcasm or sarcastic: These are body language signals that show mock approval or enthusiasm. An example showing sarcasm is a distorted or uneven smile where the mouth is raised only on one side.

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Scanning eye movements: An eye pattern used when gathering information from the surroundings. It is characterized by raised eyebrows and wide eyes to provide the maximum field of view.

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Scorn: Sometimes flashing as a microexpression. It is a combination of anger and disgust that happens by wrinkling of the nose, raising and tightening of the upper lip. To visualize this expression think of a bad smell.

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Scratching: In proper context indicates uncertainty and a lack of knowledge such as when being asked a question. The scratching behaviour is a pain inducer which causes painkilling hormones to be released to create relaxation in the face of emotional discomfort. Other times, scratching is simply to alleviate an itch.

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Scratching the neck: This is a stress related behaviour aimed at pacifying and also protecting since the neck is a vulnerable part of the body. Scratching the neck is done when under stress and when faced with uncertainty.

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Screaming or shouting (a): When motivated by anger, screaming or shouting says that a person has lost their dignity and resolve and says that a person has lost control.

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Screaming or shouting (b): When motivated by happiness screaming signals ecstasy and good fortune. A person might scream when they win a match or are reunited with loved ones.

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Seated body pointing: Directing torsos, legs, feet, arms, hands and head toward those we are most interested in, or agree with the most.

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Seated readiness: A body postures that indicate a desire to take action which is especially useful in sales and negotiation. Examples include placing the hands on the thighs in the sprinters position and leaning forward onto the balls of the feet as if ready to spring up.

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Secretiveness body language: When a person wishes to withhold information from other people. Secretive people often reveal very little about themselves and their personal lives or may keep certain facets of their life private. Secretive body language includes maintaining distance both emotionally and often physically, whispering, guarded posture with shoulders hunched, covering the mouth, body oriented away, pursed lips, tight jaw, frequent glancing down during conversations, eye avoidance, routinely hiding tracks and removing personal belongings from view.

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Security blankets: Any object that is stroked our touched when someone is under pressure. They arise out trying to keep our hands busy or perhaps as a tactile response. Even those that spend a lot of time in front of large numbers of people feel the need for a security blanket. The cuff link is a common choice when crossing an open room or when coming up on stage to perform a speech or accept an award. Other security blankets can include handbags, bracelets, watches, shirt buttons or brief cases.

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Seducer eyes: An intimate gaze that produces attraction in the opposite sex.

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Seduction: The behavioural process resulting in sexual intercourse.

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Self administered hug: When the arms are crossed and wrapped around the body. At times, the hands will pacify by rubbing the shoulders. Hugs, done in this way, indicate a need for reassurance as a mother would sooth a child.

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Self-awareness: The consciousness of how ones self is viewed by others through nonverbal channels. Nonverbal self awareness includes overall attractiveness, marketability, capacity to impress, and having a lack of objectionable characteristics.

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Self branding: The creation of a polished self image such that it increases its marketability. Branding says that in all facets of life, a person is selling themselves, be it to friends, family and at work.

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Self monitors: Defined as the desire or ability to regulate oneself to fit into any given environment. “High self monitors” are more likely to change their behaviour in lieu of the situation and seem to be less consistent across context. This personality type is more likely to mirror others. “Low self monitors” are just the opposite, and remain almost the same across situations.

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Self slapping: When the open palm is quickly slapped against the head and have various meanings depending on its location. For example a forehead slap means that a person realizes they’ve made a mistake and a hand slapping the back of the neck indicates that they feel someone is being a pain.

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Self-motivating gestures: Gestures that indicate an attempt to create better functioning such as tapping the head, drumming the fingers, the chin or a pen, tapping the keyboard, or making circular motions with the hands.

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Sex-coloured-glasses: Because men have twenty times more testosterone than women, they tend to view all cues put out by women as displaying sexual interest. This makes their ability to read proper interest in women clouded.

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Sex flush: A measles-like rash appearing as women (and sometime men) nears orgasm. It appears on the breasts and chest and is found in nearly seventy-five percent of women and twenty-five percent of men. This sex flush is not found at any other time and is not a reaction to temperature.

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Sexual hair play: Hair play is done by women who intent to show off their luxurious hair to men. Hair tosses can be done by flicking the hair over the shoulder, twirling or rolling it and placed on top of the head, running it through the fingers or wrapping the hair around the neck.

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Sexual harassment body language: Any nonverbal body language that offends another person in a sexual manner such as unwanted come-ons, crude sexual joke, eye contact, touching, and so forth. There is much controversy about sexual harassment stemming from the fact that it is defined differently between the sexes. Women feel that any man is grounds to harass whereas men feel that it can only come from women in more powerful position than them (bosses, managers). Women also define harassment from its origin. Meaning that touch from more attractive men is not harassment, but when the same form of touching coming from less attractive men is deemed otherwise.

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Sexual suggestiveness attire or fashion: A person who chooses dress that is exceptionally sexy and revealing. This type of fashion can be worn by a person who is either confident or insecure, but in either case, is trying to gain the attention of others. This type of person is usually self-centered, vain and extroverted. When worn out of context, sexy attire reveals a lack of good judgment. The sexy dresser is also often sexually liberated, but also can be a confident tease.

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Sexy son hypothesis: Women favour men who are more dominant for random “one-night-stands” because they will receive no parental care but will foster “sexy son” as offspring. Women will seek men who are sexier during peak ovulation and “softer” men who make good fathers at other times.

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Shake and wait approach: A technique that helps decide the level of liking that is present. It is done by shaking hands as usual then taking a step backwards and seeing what transpires. Someone that likes the other person will shrink the distance, while those that don’t, will maintain distance and even aim their bodies away. Other times distance is maintained for cultural or personal reasons.

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Shifty eyes or darting eyes: Happens when the eyes dart all over the room to focus on anything but someone else’s eyes and is habitually associated with lying. However, research has shown that most practiced liars hold gaze even more strongly than normal.

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Shoe play: An indicator of comfort and agreement, usually found in a courtship setting done by a woman where the heel of the shoe is removed or the entire shoe dangled from a toe. When agreement and comfort is not established the shoe will be put back on so as to be more prepared to escape.

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Short grabber/finger grabber handshake: A handshake whereby only the fingers make it into the hand. Short grabbers are usually insecure but often try to hide this by coming off as dominant.

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Shoulder embrace: A nonverbal signal of affection where arms are put around another’s shoulders. This might occur between adult men, or between a mother and her child and is therefore non-sexual in nature.

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Shoulder shake: A conspicuous vibration, hunching and raise and lowering of the shoulders in secession accompanying laughter. It is also termed “shaking with laughter.”

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Shoulder shrugs or shoulder rise: A universal expression of doubt and uncertainty. They are done by moving the shoulders upward toward the ears. Shoulder shrugs can signify ignorance, indifference, helplessness, or resignation.

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Shoe play: A cue put out by women who wish to draw men’s attention to their sexiness. It is done by dangling a shoe by the toe or bouncing the leg up and down.

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Sideways glance or sidelong glance or glancing sideways: Done by shifting the eyes to the left or right without moving the head. It indicates hostility when accompanied by appropriate cues in a cluster or attraction/interest when it is done so as to avoid detection.

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Sideways glance over raised shoulder: A sexual signal done by women to draw attention to their desire to be subordinate. It is usually done by lowering the head slightly and “peering up” at the man of her interest.

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Sighs: An exhalation of air accompanied with a low huff or tone. This signifies frustration, being overwhelmed or weighted down, burdened and thoughts of powerlessness. Other times sighs are done at the completion of a difficult task spelling relief. Sighs can be so low as to be barely distinguishable from ordinary exhalation.

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Sign language: A set of visual expressions of the hands, arms, body and face designed specifically to convey meaning from one person to another. Sign language is the primary language for deaf people and is a form of body language.

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Silent language: The set of information which transferable from person to person of which there are no sounds whatever. Silent language is a set of gestures, postures and facial expressions emitted all of the time, by all people regardless of their intentions.

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Situational awareness: Having a sense of where one is at all times with respect to the environment and the people in it. It is a total picture of what is happening with every, or most of the facets going on around a person. A nonverbalist must have a high situational awareness to be a proficient ready of nonverbal communication.

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Skepticism (nonverbal): A trait that serves the body language reader well especially those interested in detecting lies. Being skeptical is what makes readers aware of their surroundings and question other people’s true motives. Taking to elevators with strangers without looking them over, ignoring disheveled or inebriated homeless men, or even the well kept, yet out of place business man, can lead to unwanted results. The skeptical nonverbalist is someone who reads everyone all the time and expects that until proven otherwise, are up to no good. He or she reads people as if they are hiding their true emotions from others for direct gain, or to protect themselves from looking disadvantaged in one form or another. The skeptical reader, seeks to uncover these features in others through reading their total self including their postures, gestures, fashion, facial expressions, eye patterns, and movements.

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Skirt hike: The skirt hike happens completely subconsciously with little, and usually no awareness at all. The “skirt hike” happens by fingering and play with the bottom ridge of the skirt. Other times, the skirt hike happens in a more pronounced way by grabbing the bottom of the skirt and pulling it up a few inches or more, to reveal more leg.

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Slow speech or slow talking or slow talker: A speech trait where the speaker talks at a rate that is slower than ordinary. Can be due to comfort and relaxation, or discomfort. Slow speech can be due to trying to make an important point, anxiousness, confusion, lying, grief, fatigue, deep thought, illness or the influence of drugs or alcohol.

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Smells or olfaction or odors: A very powerful area of nonverbal communication that is rarely given the importance it deserves. This area of body language covers all aspects of odor from those consciously perceived to those which are not such as pheromones. A person can read very distinct habits from a person’s odor. They can detect their hygiene such as if they’ve recently washed their hair, the types of soaps they use, if they’ve brushed their teeth recently or used mouth wash and it has been postulated that a man can detect a women’s ovulation cycle. Studies also show that women prefer men to carry scents of other women as a means of attraction. Scents can tell you if a person smokes, what they’ve eaten and so forth. Environmental scents are also important to the nonverbalist. They tell of recent rain such as wet grass, fresh baking, lingering cologne signaling a foreign presence, pollution or cleaning chemicals and so forth which provide hints as to activities occurring nearby.

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Smiles: Many biologists think the smile had roots as a fearful gesture as a sort of “fear grin”. Smiles are controlled by two sets of muscles which are the zygomatic major muscles, that run down the side of the face to connect to the corners of the mouth and the orbicularis oculi muscles that pull the eyes back. Today though, human smiles are a universally submissive gesture to show we are non-threatening and they also symbolize pleasure, amusement, or anxiety (grimace).

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Smooth movements: Controlled and conscious movements of the hands, arms, feet, head and torso that do not dart or jerk in any way. The voice is steady, low and in control, it does not raise, yell or scream. This fluidity demonstrates confidence, control, authority, trust, and commands respect from others. It says Alpha.

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Sneering or sneer (the): Sneers activate the buccinator muscles located on the sides of the face to draw the corners of the lips sideways toward the ears. Sneering is universal signal of contempt, arrogance, disapproval and disrespect.

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Social dynamics: The study of the interaction humans have with each other inside society at large. To the realm of nonverbal behaviour, social dynamics represents the influence body language has on a group of people inside a given situation.

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Social gaze: Non-threatening eye contact that travels in a triangular pattern from eye to eye then to the mouth making some but infrequent trips to the rest of the body. This gaze is brief, lasting only a few seconds followed by breaks in eye contact.

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Social touching: Touching between friends and family including hand holding, hugging, offering a hand to steady, helping someone with their coat.

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Sociology: Is a realm of study that looks at society and how it functions using very broad disciplines. To the nonverbalist, sociology looks at the effects of body language on social order, its maintenance and its effects.

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Social space zone: A distance of five to twelve feet which we employ as a buffer between people we interact with for everyday relationships that we do not know well.

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Soft voice: A voice that is so quiet it is difficult to make out what is being said. This voice trait is sometimes used to manipulate others who strain to hear what is being said or mean that the speaker lacks confidence and assertiveness. Other times a soft voice implies a quiet confidence from a person who lacks a desire to control a conversation. Other meanings of soft voice includes a withdrawl from a conversation due to confrontation, discomfort or nervousness, grief or sorrow, that a person is lying, forcing a person to move closer (power play), to limit what is being heard, tiredness or illness.

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Sommer, Robert: Distinguished professor of Psychology Emeritus at the University of California, Davis who began researching the use of space in the 1950’s. He’s best known for his book “Personal Space: The Behavioral Basis of Design” published in 1969. He also authored “Expertland”, “Personal Space”, “Design Awareness”, “Tight Spaces”, “Street Art”, “Sidewalk Fossils”, “The End of Imprisonment”, “The Mind’s Eye”, “A Practical Guide to Behavioral Research”, among others.

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Song-like laughs: Also called voiced laughs and are typically sounds such as “ha,ha,ha” or “he,he,he”. Song like laughs are seen as more attractive in both sexes rather than unvoiced laughter.

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Space invasion: Happens when people come to close to another such that it creates anxiety and defensive body language.

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Spatial awareness: The ability to properly control and use space to a person’s benefit. This includes respecting (or disrespecting as in a power play) space zone, their touch restrictions, and even voice volume. It also includes the relationship of the body to nearby objects and a person’s position in a room. To have a poor sense of spatial awareness a person lacks a sense of their surroundings. To the nonverbalist it includes a cognition of how space is used with the people around them so as to read hidden messages of like, dislike, intimacy, etc.

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Spatial empathy: An informal term used by expatriate workers in Hong Kong and then later into Japan and China who were typically from Australia, England, France and the United States. Even though the city itself was very westernized, the walkways and public transport system were very crowded by comparison. Preventing intrusion into their personal space was proven difficult and at times impossible. Spatial empathy therefore describes a state or mind whereby people are either aware of the needs of peoples space or are not.

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Spatial needs: The relative amount of area that is reserved for a person of which no one else is permitted to enter.

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Speech hesitation: Differing from pauses, speech hesitations are time wasters imparted by people who lack the knowledge to properly and directly address concerns. They usually use filler words such as “hmms” and “ahhs” or “like.” Speech hesitation says that a person lacks confidence.

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Speech-independent gestures: A deliberate body language cue that is a replacement for a specific word or short phrase which are usually culturally specific. Examples include shoulder shrugs for “I don’t know”, waving for “Hello” or “Goodbye”, Index finger to lips for “Be quiet”, etc.

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Speech-related gestures: A deliberate body language cue that accompanies speech serving to punctuate, emphasize and to regulate the flow of speech.

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Splay or splaying: When the body is made to appear larger by spreading out the arms and legs, leaning back and puffing out the chest. It is a high confidence and high dominance display. It often indicates territoriality and in the wrong context disrespect and indifference.

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Spontaneous body language: Body language that occurs automatically, unintentionally and without conscious awareness. These include various visceral fear responses as well as other nonverbals which are leaked. Throughout life, people are taught to manage these naturally occurring gestures, postures and signals but they are usually readily occurring in young children and teenagers such as when the stare and point at unique looking people. Extroverted individuals also emit more spontaneous body language when compared to introverted individuals. Spontaneous nonverbal language is the most useful type since it represents true underlying emotions rather than deliberate body language.

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Spreading body language: When the body takes up more space rather than less space. For example, the arms might be placed over the back of the chair rather than crossed and the legs might be spread apart. It indicates dominance and comfort.

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Square jaws: A masculine facial feature that has been tied to female preference for one-night-stands. It is also rated by women as a feature predictive of less stability in child rearing (fatherhood) and so men with square jaws are chosen more often during lustful affairs, rather than for long term relationships.

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Square table seating: Square tables can form defensive, competitive and cooperative arrangements depending on seating location. Cooperate by sitting side by side across a corner and competitive by facing head on across the table. They are ideal for short meetings, or to create superior or subordinate relationships.

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Stalling body language or stalling tactics: Body language that delays decision making. It is usually found as the time nears to sign contracts, fill out paper work, or purchase orders. It includes behaviours such as cleaning glasses, taking a smoke break, sipping a drink, adjusting clothing, or chatting about topics that are insignificant.

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Stammering eyes: The action of keeping the eyes closed for prolonged periods of time. Can sometimes give liars away.

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Standing at attention: A standing position where the legs are together, neither one in front of the other. It signifies “no comment” and a person who has neither committed to stay or go. It is used more often by women than by men, and it happens when meeting with higher ranking people indicating subordination.

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Standing square: When people who speak to each other stand facing each other directly. It is a confrontational orientation similar to those nearing, or in physical conflict.

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Stardust chairs or stardust seating positions: These are the seats flanking the head of the table which are those with the second most powerful. They are called stardust because they are close enough to the leader that his star power or “dust” is likely to rub off on them. When these chairs are usurped it signifies that a person is a wannabe leader rather than one deserved based on performance.

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Stare or gaze fixation or eye threat: An offensive eye pattern where the eyes often remain unblinking and threatening or leer at another person for an uncomfortable length of time. It is as if the eyes are assaulting and of which the eye contact is done without permission and of which violates the moral looking time and so produces, and is the result of, negative (but sometimes sexual) feelings.

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Stare test: A test to verify if a person is purposely overstepping the moral looking time. It involves making eye contact initially with a stranger, then frequent and randomly looking back to see if the stranger is still looking.

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Starter’s position (the) or Sprinter’s position or knee clasp (the) or Sitting at the edge of the chair: A readiness gesture and an intension movement indicating a desire to end a conversation and leave, or take some other form of action. It is done by placing both hands on the knees when seated and leaning forward. While standing it happens by placing the hands on the hips.

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Stature and height: One of the most important physical qualities in maintenance and creation of dominance especially in men. Studies show that the relative height of a man translates directly into earning potential and sexual attractiveness as defined by women. Women are also affected by height, except in a much different way. Women who are taller are seen as less desirable by men, but also as more dominant.

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Steinzor effect: When larger groups meet in the competitive arrangement with many people facing one another across a rectangular table, it is most often the person to the front of the speaker directly across the table that talks next, and rarely the person to their side. This has been termed the “Steinzor effect” and was named after the researcher Dr. Bernard Steinzor in 1950 who first discovered the occurrence.

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Stealing looks: A look that is stolen is one that happens by looking to the sides without turning the head. Both sexes do it to check out a sexual prospect, a rival while at the same time remain safe from detection.

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Step to the right handshake technique: A method of thwarting the palm-down dominant handshake presented by a power player. It involves stepping forward with the left foot as you reach to shake hands, then stepping forward with the right foot so as to move across the body and into the other person’s personal space while twisting their hand from downward facing, to even and then upward facing. Finally, the left leg is brought forward. The goal, and the result of this technique, is to turn what would have been a submissive palm up handshake into a palm even or palm down dominant handshake.

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Stiff arm: A defensive arm distancing posture that happens by thrusting the arm forward and away from the body with the palm face vertical in a “stop” type signal in order to indicate to another person that they have overstepped personal space boundaries.

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Stiff arm and thrust forward handshake: A handshake that occurs by thrusting forward after meeting so as to put another off balance. Comes from people who require more space than ordinary.

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Stiff upper-lip (the): Done by compressing the lips tightly and indicates thought process when someone is trying to come up with an alternate idea.

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Stroking body language: Gestures that include touching the face, cheek, head, neck, shoulder, arm, hand or leg in response to negative stimulus in order to create comfort and to pacify.

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Stride (the): A cool but dominant gait type characterized by unusually long strides.

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Strutting: A swagger while walking that displays confidence, dominance and usually sex appeal. Men are said to strut when trying to appear masculine in the eye of women.

Women can also strut, but it’s not as typical as it is for men. Shoulders back, head up, as if swimming through the air moving the upper body back and forth.

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Stubborn or stubbornness: An emotion delineating a lack of desire to cooperate conveyed through body language by gestures and postures. The cues include arm crossing, a closed leg posture, staring eyes or down-turned head, a tight mouth and sometimes even pouting.

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Submissive body language: Any body language that forces the one to take up less space. It can include shoulders hunched, arms folded inward or crossed, or legs together. The tighter the body position the more submissive the body language.

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Substituting: One of the six main categories of body language. This is body language that is used to directly replace verbal words. A person might use body language rather than words when the words are embarrassing to speak, too difficult to speak, a person can’t find the right words so uses gestures or wishes to avoid conflict. Substitution includes such body language as turning the toes and torso away from a person when wishing to end a conversation.

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Sub-typical: A person or group of people who fall on the left side of a gradient or bell curve in terms of their actions or popularity. They are below average.

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Suckling: The mouth and lips are full of nerve endings which, when stimulated, provides tactile gratification and comfort. However, anytime the fingers go to the mouth or play with the side of the mouth or lip, it’s a retrogressive action indicating insecurity since the gesture is an attempt to pacifying as an infant would.

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Sudden nonverbal changes: Are nonverbal patterns that, in a moment’s time, change. They indicate the presence of a telltale stimulus and one worth noting to the body language reader.

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Supplication: Refers to body language that is designed to lower inherent self value in the eye of someone else who holds something desirable in hopes of obtaining it from them. Nonverbal supplication involves leaning forward to show interest while speak with someone, rather than leaning back, forcing them to chase. There are some cases where supplication is warranted such as conceding to higher ranking officials or employers, but others where it is ill advised, such as in dating, where the creation and maintenance of social value is paramount, especially in men.

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Suprasternal notch or neck dimple: The dimple located just below the neck between the Adam’s apple and the breast bone which women habitually cover when nervous, distressed, threatened, insecure, fearful or uncomfortable.

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Super female signals: The exaggeration of features that are characteristic of the female sex, and of which men find particularly appealing. For example, super sexual signals include breasts that are not only large, but very large, feet that are not only small, but very small, hips that are not only wide, but very wide. This extends to long hair, long eyelashes, long legs and hairlessness (except the head).

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Super-typical: A person or group of people who fall on the right side of a gradient or bell curve in terms of their actions or popularity. They are above average.

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Suppressed expressions: Facial expressions that appear subconsciously, but are quickly impeded or modified so as to conceal them from view and present a more desirable expressions. Reading these cues can indicate honest feelings.

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Surprised body language: A state of mind usually accompanied by fear, excitement or pleasure. Body language indicating surprise include stepping backwards or away to avoid the stimulus, ducking or head covering, extending the arms and legs outward, jumping upwards, dropping the mouth, widening the eyes, gasping or screaming.

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Surprised facial expression or surprised: Characterized by an upward curve of the eyebrows, widening of the eyes to reveal the whites and a drop of the jaw.

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Suspicious body language or suspicion: Nonverbal cues that indicate that a person is wary of another’s motives and so is pensive. Eye squinting and having focused eyes that track a target are two ways suspicion is conveyed. Other body language indicating suspicion includes furrowed brows, turning the head sideways then upwards as if thinking, peering over glasses and tightening of the lips.

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Swagger: A way of carrying the body that emits extreme confidence and self esteem, strength, charisma, a sense of masculinity, and even danger. Having swagger implies that a person has excellent and attractive body language including posture and movement, eye patterns and voice tonality such that it creates envy in men and awe in women.

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Sweating: A limbic response due to high stress or anxiety. It usually occurs in the armpits, hands and often the forehead.

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Symbolic stripping: Includes loosening ties, removing jackets or over-shirts, rolling up the sleeves, undoing buttons and so forth. The nonverbal message it entails is mixed since it depends on context. It can deliver a sexual message in a romantic situation, getting down to business at work, or comfort when done around friends.

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Symbols: Learned gestures that represent particular sentiments.

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Symmetry: Having equal proportions from the right to the left side. Extensive scientific research shows that symmetry is a key element to beauty, especially as it applies to the face.

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Synchrony: When the body’s of two people seem to have a flow or to be moving in unison. Synchrony happens when the arm and leg movements mirror or echo the person or persons they are interacting with, when verbal cues are copied, or even when attire is matched building commonality. Synchrony indicates agreement of ideas and that a common ground has been established.

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The Body Language Project is the result of a decade of personal research including a thorough review of over 60 primary scientific research journal articles. Learning body language forms the perfect foundation for success in ALL your communication.

If you are only picking up on what is being said, you are missing more than half of the message.

For more information on BodyLanguage be sure to check out: BodyLanguageProject.com and the Ebook – The Body Language Guide to Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

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Non Verbal Body Language Dictionary ::L::

by Christopher Philip • March 25, 2010 • 0 Comments

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La France, Marianne: Professor at Boston University, Dr. La France is a researcher who studies gender and power reflection within subtle communication processes one of which is nonverbal behaviours. She studies how facial expressions, like smiling, or linguistic strategies like apologizing, reveal clear gender differences. She also examines how humour plays out between the sexes.

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Laughter: Some researchers pin laughs as a modification of the fear response or as a warning that danger was near. By that same theory, we laugh because our brains are scared or frightened which is why we don’t laugh when we hear a joke for the second time and have predicted its outcome. Laughter usually comes about due to humour and helps clarify emotional context (by defining amusement) between people. Laughs follow a “ha-ha-ha” or “ho-ho-ho” pattern, but never “ha-ho-ha-ho”. We can see other variations though like “cha-ha-ha” or “ha-ha-ho.”

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Laughing cycle: Laughter is very contagious and when full blown can perpetuate itself in an open loop circuit until we are unable to breath or are in tears.

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Laissez-faire bosses: The words “laissez-faire” is French for “let be”. Literally, this boss will give an employee free reign, or seemingly so. They have confidence in the ability of others to do a good job, and check in only occasionally to measure progress. They might be friendly, but lack eye contact and expression so as not to become involved with others and take them off task. To work well with this boss, use confident and independent body language. Give off signals that you are working efficiently and are coping with any project given to you. Keep meetings short, update them of your progress every so often, then get back to work.

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Leadership body language: Leadership body language is a set of nonverbal postures and gestures that produce a desire to follow in others. It includes things like dominant postures, serious gaze, head held high, frequent use of touching, infrequent smiling or smiling when appropriate.

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Leading: A process whereby a person is artificially induced to mirror, or match actions in another. The technique involves matching body movements such as hand gestures and leg postures, facial expression, breathing, voice and blinking in another person, then suddenly moving out of sync to pull a target into following your lead.

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Leaked or involuntary body language: Leaked body language is any body language that happens accidentally. It is especially significant in people trying to prevent it from happening as it may indicate a hidden or suppressed emotion. Leaking happens because a person’s conscious mind is only successful at blocking the most obvious gestures and what usually happens is that the gestures are replaced with ones that are slightly less pronounced.

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Leaning toward or leaning away: Related to proximity, leaning is a way the body either shows agreement or liking or disagreement and disliking. When people like things, they will subtly or dramatically move toward them and when they dislike them will move away from them. Leaning can be done either when sitting or standing.

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Left side advantage (the): The distinct benefit of being on the left side when facing an audience or appearing in photographs especially when shaking hands. The person to the left always gains the upper hand in the handshake making them appear more dominant and in control.

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Leg cleansing or leg pacifying behaviour: In response to stress the hands are rubbed against the thigh. It serves three purposes, one, it wipes sweat off the palms, two, it burns off nervous energy and three it pacifies.

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Leg crossing: A form of close body posture that signifies liking when oriented toward someone rather than away, sexual interest when entwine and comfort because it disables a person from leaving.

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Leg spreading: When done by men it is a dominant crotch display, and when done by women usually construed as a sexual invitation or that they have a crass attitude or are “easy.”

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Leg twine: The leg twine is one of the most appealing sitting positions for women. The posture is done by tightly wrapping one around the other and then twining the foot under the calf. The result makes the legs appear extremely toned.

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Liar’s lilt: When a person telling a lie finishes their sentence with an tag question coupled with a high pitched voice nearing the end.

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Lie detection devices: Include thermal scanners, eye trackers, pupillometers, stress sniffers and polygraph machines. Each uses an aspect of arousal to determine variations between a regular baseline of a person, and stress, to uncover stimuli that cause it. Therefore, no such test actually measures lying directly. Pupillometers measure changes in the pupils, eye trackers look at eye patterns, thermal scanners look at heat, light and vibrations emitted from the body, stress sniffer machine measures increases in stress hormones on the breath and polygraphs use a combination of increases in sweat and heart rate to uncover liars. While tests such as these provide results at better than chance, they aren’t perfect and present very obvious limitations.

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Light social hug: One of two types of hugs. This one is used for acquaintances and friends, and happens when the shoulders come together but the hips remain separated and do not press together.

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Liking (nonverbal): Nonverbal communication that shows a person feels a connection and agreement with another person. Liking is conveyed through active eye contact, genuine smiles, nodding, ventral fronting, leaning forward and increased proximity, touching, MISSING?

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Limbically aroused: A state of mind characterized by emotional/fearful body language which is difficult or impossible to consciously remove oneself from. It occurs when stimuli are presented which create a flight or fight response.

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Limbic system or limbic brain or midbrain: The limbic system is a set of brain centers or the “reptilian brain” that includes the amygdale, hippocampus, anterior thalamic nuclei, and limbic cortex. These structures in collection handle emotion (from happiness to anger), behavior, long term memory and olfaction or the sense of smell. They are important in body language because they control nonverbal expressions that come unforced or naturally (rather than those coming from the more advanced neocortex) so are an honest representation of true underlying feelings.

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Limp fish handshake: A handshake that has far too little pressure and indicates a timid personality who feels that touching is a violation of personal space.

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Linear lying: The inability to recall a told lie when it is taken out of sequence. Liars find it easy to tell lies through a progression, but when asking to recall the events back, their imagined activities make it nearly impossible to retell precisely because they have never actually happened.

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Linguistic anthropologists: Researchers who study the development of language including body language over thousands of years.

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Linking arms: Serves a function similar to handholding by providing a touch based connection between two people. It is done by wrapping one arm into another through the inside of the elbow or by grasping the inside of the elbow with a hand. It can become more intimate by pulling the arm inward and “hugging” it usually by the more subordinate individual. Linking arms are habitual between romantic couples and so is an intimate gesture.

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Lint picker: A non-verbal displacement gesture indicating a difference of opinion, disapproval and indifference which is especially salient when lint is entirely absent and eye contact avoided. In dating lint picking is a form of interest through preening to make one appear more attractive, and when done on someone else, is a form of affection.

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Lip biting or biting the lip or cheek biting: Biting the lip with the teeth or chewing on the sides of the mouth indicates hidden insecurity, embarrassment, a vulnerability and a lack of self confidence.

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Lip licking: An increase in lip licking is due to a decrease in saliva production due to high stress. Repeated licking can also serve to pacify and sooth. In this gesture the tongue can be seen darting out of the mouth, swiping the top lip on the way and curling under to swipe the bottom lip as it reenters.

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Lip nibble: When the lower lip is lightly nibbled by the upper teeth and pulled inward slightly. The teeth habitually pull at the corner of the mouth. This is a flirtatious sexual gesture usually performed by women who are using self restraint to stop themselves from acting overtly toward an attractive man. In this case it is shy, innocent and youthful in it’s origin.

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Lip pursing or puckering: When the lips form a pout or kiss. Indicates a sexual cue, or desire to kiss, when in context, or a negative thought indicator or that disagreement is present.

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Lip touching: A gesture done whenever the fingers touch the mouth. It signifies contemplation, insecurity, and flirtation depending on the context. When the finger is passed inside the mouth it is an overt sexual display or an extreme pacifying display.

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Looking askance: Is a nonverbal cue done by tilting the head slightly to the side but stopping short of facing head on where the eyes roll the rest of the way forming a scowl. This face shows disapproval, distrust and suspicion.

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Looking away: A signal of comfort when done within context as it shows that a person is lacking fear, but can also show disrespect in extreme cases as it indicate an aloof attitude.

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Looking past or looking through a person or looking away: The deliberate avoidance of eye contact by defocusing the eyes seemingly peering through people. This is an intense form of eye contact avoidance especially when done to quell the attention seeking of another person or while in an active conversation with someone. The nonverbal interpretation of such a cue includes dominance, superiority, dismissal, or outright, rudeness.

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Looking up through the forehead or the Looking up cluster: Done by tilted the head at a forty-five degree angle and looking upwards. The posture is a reflection back into early childhood as children look up at us as seeking our approval or permission.

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Loud voice: A voice that is forceful and overtakes a room or conversation. It can be booming and baritone or a high pitch shrill soprano. The aim of the speaker is to not be missed, hence the loud voice stems from a person who wishes to gain attention and control others through authority and intimidation. Often, loud voices are aimed at speak over others and show egotism and impatience. Sometimes people misread loud voices as confidence which is rarely the case (when it is used courteously), usually it comes from people fearing not being heard. Loud voices can also be used to persuade others, but only via submission, be used to compensate for a perceived personal flaw, a reaction to hearing loss or inebriation.

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Loving circle: When lovers sit on a couch together they will orient their legs toward each other forming a loop and their arms will meet over the backs for the couch. This is the loving circle and can happen within families, with close friends, associates and between and amongst the sexes. It signifies agreement.

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Low confidence body language: Nonverbal cues that indicate stress, anxiety and discomfort. They include hand hiding behaviours, cowering body postures, shoulders rolled inward, lack of eye contact, feet that are pulled inward or locked around the legs of a chair and so forth.

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Low confidence hand displays: Include hands wringing, the fig leaf, hidden thumbs (in pockets), hand rubbing, palm rubbing, hand hiding, entwined fingers while rubbing, hand wringing and sudden frozen hands. These show low comfort and low self esteem and usually have some form of pacifying element.

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Luncheon test (the): Unspoken rules dictate that a centerline exists about a table or at equidistance from two people (when side by side) and one must not cross it with hands, arms, or artifacts of any kind, including papers, folders, utensils (boardroom setting), salt, pepper and centerpieces (dinner settings). This experiment involves moving the artifacts over the centerline throughout the course of the meal. Reactions will be predictable, as they will either slowly move them back to regain territory or will lean back in their chairs so as to regain space.

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Lying or deceptive body language or dishonesty: Unfortunately for the body language reader there are no set cues that give liars away, however there are cues that signify stress and anxiety or arousal. There are times when lying can be read but it is done only by comparing relaxed body language on a baseline to discomfort body language when presented with a stimuli. The gestures most often associated with liars include increased face touching, pulling the ears, neck scratching or pulling on the collar, hand to eye, mouth or nose, closed body postures, eye avoidance, stammering eyes or shifty eyes, and paraverbal cues. Liars are also often thought to suffer from dry mouth, voice tremors, increases in sweating, jerky movements, and gasping or holding the breath, amongst others. There is no single cue that predicts lying in all circumstances. Most lie detectors are only slightly better then 50% accurate.

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If you are only picking up on what is being said, you are missing more than half of the message.

For more information on BodyLanguage be sure to check out: BodyLanguageProject.com and the Ebook – The Body Language Guide to Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

Share and Enjoy:

Non Verbal Body Language Dictionary ::K::

by Christopher Philip • March 24, 2010 • 0 Comments

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King Arthur’s round table: As an aim to equalize authority amongst his knights, King Arthur swapped a conventional rectangular table round table for a round table. His efforts had another unforeseen effect. Instead of equalizing all members, power trickled-down from his left and right such that those closer held the greatest amount of power until the furthest person away faced him head on in a competitive arrangement.

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Kinesics: The interpretation of body language including facial expressions, gestures and postures, with direct respect to its movement. The term was first used in 1952 by anthropologist Ray Birdwhistell.

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Kinesthetic learners or kinesthetic communicators: Represent 40% of the population and are those who prefer to learn by touch rather then by simply watching. They prefer to jump right in. Kinesthetic learners can be restless or hyperactive when under-stimulated physically. These types of learner will prefer dioramas, physical models, role-playing, or reenactments. Kinesthetic communicators use phrases such as: This feel right. Can you grasp the concept? Have you lost your motivation? Let’s touch on this subject. Here’s a rough draft. Get a grip on yourself. I think things went smoothly. Let’s let him/her cool off. Can you feel the excitement? This decision carries a lot of weight.

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Kino anchored motion inducement (KAMI): A term used in pick-up and the PUA community whereby touch is used to help lead women where a man wishes to move her. KAMI includes guiding women by their lower back, touching the upper arm to indicate where he would like her to stand, pushing lightly on the upper hip to have her sit, or by wrapping the hand around the wrist to lock the woman’s hand to the man’s. KAMI is not forceful, but rather a light leading and relies on the interpretation of the muscular reflexes of the women causing her to take the path or least resistance.

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Kino escalation: A term used to describe the use of touch from first touch to sex. The word escalation refers to the sequential progression from accidental touching straight up to full blow permitted sexual touching. The touch sequence begins first by touching nonsexual areas such as elbows, hands or shoulders or through playful pushes, high fives and up to the torso, legs, face and hair, and eventually to kissing, and so forth.

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Kino pinging: A term used by pick-up artists meant to describe light and brief casual touching, to whoever is around them (men and women) in a non-threatening, nonsexual manner as a prelude to possible kino escalation.

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Kino steps: A specific formula used by pick-up artists of which touch is sequentially dictated in order to yield a specific result. It is a way to simplify and code a kino escalation routine of various forms. For example, the “high five and spin her around” routine follows from a) initiate conversation b) touching her briefly c) requesting to hold her hand d) lifting her hand across her body, lift and spinning her around, followed lastly by e) exit from her company to create importance or social proof through absence i.e. having better things to do.

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Kino test: A pick-up artist term that describes the willingness of a woman to comply with increased touching or kino escalation. It is usually as simple as initiating touch, then waiting for it to be reciprocated.

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Kiss hello or welcome/departure kiss: A greeting or departure gesture done by direct kiss to the cheek or the air next to the cheek or sometimes by pressing cheek to cheek and making a kissing sound. Sometimes it involves just one kiss and others it is done up to three times from one side to the other.

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Kissing: A display of affection done by pressing the lips of one person against that of another’s. Kissing can be closed mouth, a “peck”, or open, “French kiss” or done mouth to cheek or even mouth kissing the air next to the cheek – a common greeting gesture. The open mouth kiss is an intimate form of kissing reserved for romantic couples whereas cheek kissing is used between family members such as a mother or father and their children.

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Knee knee leg cross or knee-knee cross: This is an informal and common sitting posture where the leg rests over the knee of the other leg. Women with short skirts will be found to reveal thigh in this posture. Men in formal situations will adopt this sitting posture, but it’s not as common as the ankle over knee sitting position (the figure-four).

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Kowtow position: A submissive posture that includes bending the torso forward at the waist. It stems from the Chinese bow serving to show respect for higher ranking individuals.

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If you are only picking up on what is being said, you are missing more than half of the message.

For more information on BodyLanguage be sure to check out: BodyLanguageProject.com and the Ebook – The Body Language Guide to Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

Share and Enjoy:

Non Verbal Body Language Dictionary ::E::

by Christopher Philip • March 22, 2010 • 0 Comments

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Ear blushing: Reddening of the ears due to emotional stress.

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Ear grab or ear rub or ear rubbing: The ear grab refers to a subconscious desire to “hear no evil” and is done by reaching up and pulling the ear in response to hearing or saying discomforting things.

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Echoing: Is like mirroring where similar body postures are replicated, but of which happen sometime later. It is a technique that makes the rapport building process more subtle. In echoing, postures and gestures are not concurrent with what is going on with others, but instead happen after some time has elapsed. To be effective, echoing happens within thirty seconds to a minute of separation, but can even happen with several minutes of separation, where only subtle rapport is felt.

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Ejector seat position: A sitting position where the hands are placed on the thighs near the knees and the body leans forward onto them indicating a readiness to leave. One foot might also be extended forward in the direction one wishes to leave.

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Eibl-Eeibesfeldt, Irenaus: Born in 1928, he is the founder of human ethology and has contributed many studies regarding human behaviour.

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Ekman, Paul: Ekman was born in 1934 and is noted for his extensive work on facial expressions and emotions. His key finding is that facial expressions are universal and not culturally determined denoting a biological or inherent origins rather then learned or cultural. The key emotions include anger, disgust, fear, joy, sadness and surprise.

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Elective physical characteristics: One of two types of outer physical traits that a person might have from which a person might be judged (the other being nonelective). An elective trait includes the type of fashion chosen, tattoos, piercing, hygiene, hair style, use of make-up, accessories, and so forth. These are important cues to the nonverbal reader since they are chosen by the wearer and so can predict underlying emotions, characteristics and personality about a person. These elective characteristics tell about who a person would rather be.

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Embarrassment (nonverbal): Nonverbal signals that indicate discomfort due to being out of place or being put on the spot with unwanted attention. It is frequently confused with anger, defensiveness, or nervousness because people often wish not to be perceived as embarrassed. It includes signals such as blushing and trembling, in addition to submissive postures such as lowering the head, turning the shoulders inward or away, avoiding eye contact, nervous laughter, shaking the head, and a freeze response which includes reduced movement overall, less gesturing and a loss for words or fleeing so as to escape the negative stimuli.

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Emblems: Quotable gestures that have a direct verbal translation which are culturally specific which can be used as replacement for words. The middle finger is an obvious gesture to Westerners and so too is the peace signal (or V-sign) which can also mean victory or and insult in other cultures.

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Emotional body language: Any body language that serves to display feelings such as fear, anger, sadness, timidity or shyness, disgust, and happiness.

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Emotional commitment: In body language it refers to the lack of objectivity a nonverbalist might experience due to a premature prediction. Because people have fallible traits, they may have a deep desire to maintain an inaccurate assessment instead of modifying their predictions as new information is presented.

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Emotional downtime: Research shows that every three seconds, on average, people ‘slip away’ to be with their own thoughts and internalize what is happening around them. This ‘downtime’ allows our brains the time it needs to process, the information that is happening all around us. People that are taking downtime will exhibit characteristic body language such as appearing blank in the face, pauses in breathing, subtle chewing of the lips, or very brief eye freezes or glazing over.

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Emotional intelligence: Abbreviated EQ is a relative measure of a person’s awareness of emotions in others as well as their relative ability to deal with them in a positive way. A part of EQ is the understanding of emotional communication coupled with the ability to emphatically convey emotions to others.

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Emotional short-circuiting: A primarily limbic response that overrides logical thought sending a person into fits of anger, panic, fear and so forth, preventing them from doing constructive work and instead sending them into various unproductive behaviour eluded to through nonverbal channels. Only a well tuned individual such as those in the armed forces, police, paramedics, firefighters and other high stress professions can overcome emotional short-circuiting from occurring.

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Emotional suppression: Occurs when a person tries to suppress or hide emotions from others especially through their nonverbal channels.

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Emotions: Most researchers agree that the following six emotions tend to be recognized by all cultures: happiness (enjoyment), distress (sadness), anger, disgust, surprise and fear.

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Emphasis: Gestures that usually indicate honesty though greater than normal commitment. They are “over-the-top” and have a higher amplitude that ordinary gestures and might even be repeated several times. Emphasizing gestures also makes them more memorable and therefore more useful when trying to deliver important information.

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Emphatic gestures: Gestures that reinforce spoken words such as finger jabbing, batoning or chopping hands, hand clapping, foot stomping and so forth.

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Encroaching: Body language that takes advantage of proxemics to violate a person’s personal space and territory. It involves standing too close, standing over someone by exploiting height differences, touching when un-welcomed, and even raising voices or the volume of music to violate the privacy and comfort of others.

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Endorphins: A natural painkilling hormone that is released to sooth the body as a result of touching from others or the self and high physical stress or strain. Self soothing or stroking such as rubbing the hands, the arms or the hair are nonverbal cues indicating a need for endorphins to sooth and that stress is present.

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Energy Displacement: When someone talks about energy displacement and body language they are talking about movements that spawn relief. For example, someone that is nervous or excited will rub their legs, but they can also rub their hands together or stroke an object vigorously. The action gives them something to do and also allows them to release some of their pent-up energy.

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Enthusiasm (nonverbal): Refers to the relative amplitude that is carried through on the nonverbal message. We say that a person is enthusiastic when they gesture with exaggerated motions, commit to them throughout their message, use different variations if messages are misinterpreted, and sometimes even repeat them. Using arms in speech such as pointing, hitting the fist against the palm, jumping up and down, raising the voice and flashing the eyes, are just a few examples of showing enthusiasm. Enthusiasm has been positively tied to honesty in nonverbal messages.

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Environmental cues or artifacts: These are objects that form part of a person’s habitat (house, office, etc.) which provide clues to their character and disposition. They include a person’s automobile, their house and how it is decorated, their accolades in their office, photographs they keep on the wall and so forth.

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Erythrophobia: A term applied to a medical condition that creates blushing due to the fear of blushing. Blushing is a reflex controlled unconsciously by our sympathetic nervous system, but in people with this condition the mere fear of blushing causes them to blush, and so they blush much more frequently with minimal stimulus. In body language, it is a misleading nonverbal message since the conditions by which they occur are somewhat detached from a regular person. In other words, the condition produces blushing that does not indicate severe stress or discomfort.

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Escape movements: Any body language that indicates a desire to leave a situation. The most common type of cue includes pointing the toes toward the doorway. A second cue is casting the eyes in any direction other then conversation at hand to seek ways of exiting.

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Ethology: From the Greek work “ethos” meaning “character” is the scientific study of animal behaviour, however in recent times it has been extended to human behaviour and social organizations. Because of its origins, it is a subtopic of zoology. The study of ethology draws from many other disciplines including ecology, evolution, neurology, physiology, and when applied to humans, psychology, sociology or biopsychology. Ethology follows animal emotions, animal cultures and sexual behaviour. A large part of the framework by which behaviour is typed is based on evolution by natural selection. When ethology deals with humans it strongly relates to inherited or natural body language.

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European leg cross (the): A sitting position whereby the leg is crossed neatly over the other. It is the most common seating position in European, Asian and British cultures.

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Evaluative body language or critical evaluation: Gestured that indicate that a person hasn’t yet, but is working toward a decision. They include chin stroking or hand resting on cheek or chin, removing or putting on glasses, neck rubbing, stoking the side of the nose, looking upward and so forth.

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Evasive actions: Nonverbal body language such as distancing, turning away, eye avoidance and turning the feet toward an exit that indicate a desire to escape a stimuli.

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Evil eyes: Unblinking staring eyes fill with contempt.

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Exhaling or “blowing off steam”: A rapid expulsion of air indicating tension or frustration.

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Expansive movements: A dominance driven response to appear larger and more authoritative. It includes leg and arm spreading, puffing out the chest, placing the hands on the hips, and so forth. Men are usually those who use expansive movements whereas women typically use diminutive movements which are the polar opposite.

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Extended eye blink or extended blink or extended eye closure: The extended eye blink is performed by arrogant individuals as they temporarily shut off the outside world as if it were irrelevant. They are sending a message to others that what they are doing and feeling isn’t worth their energy and thought and that they either bore them, or they are superior to you. The extended blink is a form of eye blocking which protects a person from distasteful images and ideas.

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Extravagance: A person who habitually goes over the top with the objects and events in their life. This type of person is usually more concerned about what other people think and have a desire to be accepted. Someone can be said to be extravagant if they own expensive toys especially if they are rarely used.

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Extravagant dresser or extravagant fashion: A type of style which is more focused on style rather than on comfort. This type of dresser is image conscious, suffers from poor self-esteem and has a desire to be accepted by others. Extravagance includes expensive watches, colour coordinated accessories, manicured nails and expensive haircuts.

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Extroverts: People that become energized by stimulus and seek out noisy and busy environments. Extroverts have a high tolerance for stimulus and require a lot to keep themselves amused. Amusement parks, busy downtown areas, any place with lots of movement and loud noises make the extrovert feel at ease.

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Eye accessing cues: A technique stemming from NLP that assesses thoughts based on eye movements. For example, eyes up and left indicates a visual imagined thought which can provide clues to lying, whereas up and right indicates visual remembered.

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Eye aversion: Eye aversion is used to prevent other from resorting to an attack response and prevents others from seeing us as a threat. Subordinates commonly avoid eye contact with dominant individual to indicate submission and respect.

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Eyeball assault: When a person becomes overly aggressive with eye contact. Eye assault happens when men appear to undress women, or stare other men down. Women might appear to give “dirty looks.” Assault is a matter of length and type. Lingering stares of unbroken eye contact is the high of eyeball assault. Eyeball assault violates the moral looking time.

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Eye blink rate: Refers to periods of excitement as it relates to an increase in blinking. The more we blink the more we are prepared for action as we keep our eyes moist. Pronounced eye blinking can happen during sexual arousal and attraction or while under pressure. A rapid series of eye blinks can also indicate an inner struggle or distress.

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Eye blocking: A term used to describe eyes that are constricted by squinting, covered with the hands, or shielded in any other way, in response to negative stimuli.

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Eyebrow cock: A mixed eyebrow movement where one eyebrow is raised while the other is lowered. It represents both aggression and fear at the same time due to the division of high and low, and when mixed, indicates suspicion or skepticism.

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Eyebrow flash: The eyebrow flash has been studied for decades most notably by Eibl-Eibesfeldt and has been shown to be a long distance universal social greeting. It is a sort of nonverbal “hello”. The eyebrow flash happens very briefly and lasts only about one-sixth of a second.

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Eyebrow hold: Happens when the eyebrows raise and pause for a second when someone seeks an approval gesture such as a head nod or vocal agreement. It indicates a lack of knowledge or even helplessness. Politicians and children do this often when they seek approval, it says “So, what do you think, have I don’t a good job?”

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Eyebrow(s) knit: The eyebrows are raised simultaneously and drawn inward toward each other producing both horizontal creases in the forehead and vertical creases between the eyebrows. It signifies intense grief and anxiety.

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Eyebrow lowering: Eyebrows that are lowered indicate confrontation, anger and aggression, but if they are dropped low enough and kept low, they indicate deep weakness and insecurity.

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Eyebrows shrug: The eyebrows are raised, held for a moment, then lowered. It signifies mild, yet unpleasant surprise and may be used in speech to emphasize certain important points.

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Eye coding: Nonverbal communication done exclusively through eye contact and eye patterns. Eye coding is the conveyance of meaning and information between two or more people, usually women (and gay men). It is especially applicable in PUA where women will approve or disapprove of the pick-up of others in their group based on looks alone. In other words, eye coding is when women verify the impressions of their friends of the man who has approached. Conveyed meaning include “I think this guy is cute/creepy”, “We should leave”, “I’m okay, you can go” and so forth.

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Eye contact: Refers to two people looking directly into each other’s eyes (versus their toward their face, mouth or body).

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Eye direction: Eye movements are a key component of NLP whereby eye direction outlines thought process. For most right-handed people, eye movement up and to the left is a signal of accessing a visual memory, movement up and right means that a person is trying to construct a visual image. Eyes either right or left, but still level, indicate an auditory process such as remembering sounds and words. Down and left indicate internal dialogue or self talk and down and right indicate a tactile or visceral feeling. When the eyes are straight ahead, unfocused or dilated they signal visual or any sensory information.

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Eye flash: The eye flash lasts on average for only 0.75 seconds and is a momentary widening of the eyelids during a conversation. It includes no involvement of the eyelids. The widening is usually wide enough to reveal the sclera which is the whites of the surrounding the iris. The eyeflash when given by a speaker, emphasizes specific words being spoken and can serve to change the meaning of a given word or phrase. It normally accompanies adjectives rather than any other parts of speech, and women use it more often them men.

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Eye flutter or eye fluttering: An increase in the rate of blinking in response to arousal, nervousness or concern. The eyes flutter in response to an internal struggle.

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Eye-gaze: Happens when the gaze is directed toward the eyes of another but of which that person might not reciprocate (as in mutual gaze).

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Eye gaze behaviour: Eye patterns that show hidden meaning and hidden thoughts.

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Eye glasses body language: Eye glasses carry many stereotypic nonverbal messages, most of which are positive. Researchers have found that subjects rate wearers of glasses are more intelligent, knowledgeable and studious. In fact, they are attributed with an increase in IQ. In contrast, when women wear glasses with provocative attire they conjure images of naughty librarians and so carry multiple meanings. Eye glasses though can also decrease social quotients when the remaining nonverbals don’t measure up producing an image of nerdiness.

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Eye movements: Originated by American psychologist Grinder and Bandler and part of NLP – eye movements, specifically directions, are useful in predicting channels of thought accessed by a person. They can signify recalling sights, smells, tastes, or tactile memories. When people remember things they saw, their eyes will move upwards, if they recall something they heard, they will look to the side, emotions are recalled by looking down or to the right, and when accessing constructed memories, people will look down and to the left.

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Eye rolling or eye shrug: This cue is done by rolling the eyes around in a semi circle from bottom to top, or looking straight up. It says disbelief as in “I can’t believe you just said this, you are a fool”, contempt, sarcasm, and a lack of respect.

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Eye rubbing: Occurs as the hand comes up and rubs the eye with the eyelid closed. This is widespread gesture indicating a negative thought and disbelieve in what is being said. The underlying thought is that a person “can’t believe what they are seeing.”

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Eyes defocused or eyes unfocused: When the eyes are unmoving and stare blankly. Indicates that attention is focused inward rather than outward.

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Eyes flutter or batting eyes: When the eyelids are opened and closed in rapid succession. Used to invoke feelings of protectiveness in others by appearing more childlike.

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Eyes glistening: Eyes that appear moist due to active tear ducts. Indicates arousal that is an order less than that which produces actual tears. It can show passion, love, anguish, distress, or bereavement.

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Eyes multi-blink: A rapid eyelid movement open and closed when a person is on the verge of tears.

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Eyes narrowing or eyes squinting or furrowing: When the eyelids are compressed constricting the eyes. Indicates contempt, distaste and distain.

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Eyes super-blink: An exaggerated closing of the eyelids that is slow in speed but has a high amplitude. It is used to indicate feigned surprise as in “I can’t believe what I’m seeing.”

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Eyes weep or crying: When the eyes produce secretions due to extreme pain or joy.

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Eye widening: Eye widening is a positive nonverbal cue indicating that someone is observing positive stimuli that bring them joy and happiness. The size of the eyes directly indicates how positive someone is about a topic or other stimuli.

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If you are only picking up on what is being said, you are missing more than half of the message.

For more information on BodyLanguage be sure to check out: BodyLanguageProject.com and the Ebook – The Body Language Guide to Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

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Non Verbal Body Language Dictionary ::D::

by Christopher Philip • March 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

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Dart (the): A type of gait characterized by short, yet indecisive burst. It signifies indecision and lack of direction.

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Darwin, Charles R.: Born 1882, Darwin was an English naturalist who proposed the mechanism of natural selection within the theory of evolution. It stated that all species of life descended from a common ancestor through decent with modification. He explained his findings in his 1859 book “On the origins of species.” In 1872 he published a book titled “The Expression of the emotions in man and animals” that discussed how animals and humans express their instinctive behaviours. In his book, he covers how man and animals both express similar states of mind by the same movements. Darwin covered “low spirits” such as anxiety, grief, dejection and despair, “high spirits” such as joy, love, tender feelings and devotion, along with hatred, anger, disdain, contempt, disgust, guilt, pride, helplessness, patience, affirmation, surprise, astonishment, fear, horror, shame, shyness, modesty and blushing.

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Death grip handshake: A macho bone crushing grip indicating aggressive personalities who intend to try to dominant you from the start.

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Debbie downer: Term used to describe a person who drags other people down simply by portraying negative body language or topics. We say these people are pessimistic and they bring us down because all people tend to mirror those around them. Therefore their negative attitude produces negative feelings around them serving to drag others down as well. Even nonverbal language where no spoken words exist can spread from person to person.

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Decoding: The act of extracting useful and accurate information based on visual nonverbal cues emitted by another person or persons.

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Defensive body language or defensiveness: Defensive body language is a set of postures that make the body feel protected, secure and comfortable in awkward situations. Defensive body language is also similar to submissive body language in that the postures are aimed at protecting vulnerable parts of our bodies, or in size reduction turning our bodies into smaller targets. Examples include crossed arms, gripping crossed arms, partial arm crosses or masked arm crosses, leg crosses, ankle crosses and foot locking, clenching the teeth, jaws or lips, averting the eyes, hands on the hips, quick exhalation and exiting from a situation.

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Deliberate body language: Body language that is consciously emitted and controlled so as to create a desirable impression. When a person feigns politeness when they really feel anger, rage or dislike, they are using deliberate body language. Deliberate body language is usually used to maintain social norms, hide negative feelings and display confidence. Deliberate nonverbal language is less useful than spontaneous nonverbals because it represents the image a person wishes to convey rather than true underlying emotions. The nonverbalist will be careful to study these as well however, since they provide clues as to how a person wishes to be perceived by others.

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Democratic bosses: Democratic bosses are most often female and their most popular sentiment is to make others feel welcome and comfortable. They will try to build personal relationships and welcome new ideas and thoughts to the conversation. Their office will have informal meeting places and the door will ‘always be open’. Other signals of the democratic leader, is her desire to build rapport, she will use touch more often if possible. To work with this type of boss, mirror their language. Use open body language when she does, and feel free to chat with her when necessary.

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Depressive body language or depressed body language or depression: When the body is weighed down by gravity such as slumping the head and shoulders, it is an indication that a person does not feel well emotionally. Depressive body language also includes desire for isolation, poor concentration, inability to focus on tasks or plan ahead, low and quiet speech, relaxed or slack body, downcast eyes, poor grooming, dejected facial expressions and inexpressive eyes, slow and deliberate movements, change in appetite, forgetfulness. Those with negative feelings lack a characteristic bounce and enthusiasm in their body movements.

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Designer labels: When a person tends toward wearing or carrying items that include prominent logos. These are clues to a person’s values and lifestyle and can outline a person’s hobbies or their desire to display wealth. The nonverbalist should make note of apparel because it is not randomly chosen, but is a reflection of a person’s character and goals. Prominent logos indicates image conscious who lacks confidence who is trying to buy credibility, souvenir t-shirts reveal a person who is trying to appear worldly, sports shirts indicate team affiliations. These themes are more meaningful when they are repeated from day-to-day.

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Dilated pupils: In body language dilated pupils indicate that a person is aroused, be it from fear or attraction. When the eyes view something stimulating, they dilate or open so as to allow more light to penetrate making seeing easier. Various studies show that our pupils also respond to positive stimuli by constricting when a person sees unpleasant or uninteresting stimuli. For example, pupils constrict when viewing nude images of the same sex but dilate when viewing images of the opposite sex.

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Diminutive movements: Movements motivated by submission which render the body less expansive and more compressed. Women are habitually seen performing this stance when trying to appear attractive to men and men will use the gesture to reduce punishment. It is performed by head lowering or bowing, pulling the arms in, crossing the legs instead of spreading them, lowered eyes and curling up. Gesturing is also reduced and when it happens, the limbs remain close to the body rather then form sweeping motions.

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Disappearing lips: When the lips are compressed tightly due to stress, anxiety and negative thought processes. It is opposite to full expressive lips that show contentment.

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Disapproval cues: Nonverbal signals that are culturally specific that serve to indicate that a behaviour is not permitted. These usually emanate from the face (“the look”), but can also stem from the body such as arm crossing, finger wagging, distancing behaviours, body orientation or ventral denial.

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Discomfort body language: Includes any body language that says that a person feels threatened. It includes body language such as ventral denial, reduced proximity, erecting barriers, freezing or reduced movement, lack of mirroring, increases in heart rate, breath rate, sweating, a change in normal colour in the face or neck, trembling or shaking in the hands lips, or elsewhere, compressing the lips, speech errors, unfriendliness, withdrawal, anger, nervousness, fidgeting, drumming the fingers and other repetitive behaviours.

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Disengagement: Body language that shows that a person wishes to exit a conversation or topic. It is usually signaled by orienting the body away from the speaker or by creating distance such as stepping away or leaning backward.

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Disguised gestures: A form of partial gesture that is incomplete and abbreviated yet hidden from view or stymied. For example, hands that rest of the lap can be turned palm upward signifying that ones doesn’t know or the shoulders might raise only a fraction of a degree to indicate that one is unsure.

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Disgust: One of the six main universal facial expressions characterized by eyebrows that are turned inward, raised upper lip, winkled nose and a raise in cheek muscles.

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Dislike (nonverbal): Nonverbal communication that shows a person lacks a connection and is in disagreement with another person. Dislike is conveyed through reduced or nonexistent eye contact, neutral facial expressions or scowling, polite smiles or non at all, ventral denial, head shaking, reduced proximity of leaning away, lack of touch or touch avoidance, hand withdrawal.

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Displacement behaviour: Displacement behaviours include actions set to preoccupy in order to dehumanize the outside world – especially in more crowded areas. The list of behaviours included nail biting, gum chewing, grooming, tapping the does, head scratching or playing with jewelry, but can also mean looking and acting ‘out of touch’ or closed off.

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Distancing or moving away: When the entire body, or part of the body moves away, rather than toward, someone or something. Distancing indicates that a person is not in tune with whatever it is they are being repelled by. In other words, arms or legs can be pulled away from people when there is a lack of agreement.

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Dodpi: Abbreviation for The Department Of Defense Polygraph Institute.

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Dominant body language: This is any body language that increases the area the body takes up. Shoulder up and back, head held high, arms out and relaxed, legs apart. The greater the area the body takes up, the more dominant the body language.

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Dominant male stance: A stance where the feet lie flat on the ground, weight is across both feet, the arms are placed to the side rather than in pockets and hands do not prop up against a wall or table. The hips are forced forward slight, with the legs just wider than shoulder width.

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Dominator (the): A type of client who makes strong eye contact, is suspicious of the salespersons motives, uses a firm voice, neutral or negative facial expressions, may be grabby and uses touch to influence the salesperson.

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Double arm hug or self hugging: Hugging ones self is both defensive and a closed body position. Hugging can be done by grabbing both arms across the body or by clasping one arm onto the arm on the opposite side. People who hold this posture exclaim that they are cold, but in reality, the cold sensation stems from feeling awkward.

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Double gripper politician handshake or double hander (the): Both hands are used to sandwich the other person’s hand. It is an intimate handshake but in the wrong company can be taken as insincere and create negative feelings.

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Doubt or disbelief body language: Nonverbal cues that signify that an idea or thought is being reject. Body language revealing disbelief includes looking down, away, or upward, rubbing the eyes or lightly touching the inside corner or the eye, eye rolling, looking askance, twitching the nose and grabbing the ears, head shaking, grimacing, turning the corners of the mouth and exhaling quickly through the teeth.

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Dowdiness or rumpled or unkempt: A nonverbal term referring to a persons dress that is wrinkled but otherwise fairly clean, shapeless, outdated, bland, messy, unflattering, out-of-date and well worn. It signifies a low socioeconomic background, that a person is artistic, intellectual, or is the absent minded professor, is preoccupied or is just outfight sloppy. This type of person is usually preoccupied with other passions and lacks the interest to put anything into their look. Other times they are just outright slobs and don’t care.

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Downtime: Occurs roughly every three seconds whereby our minds ‘slip away’ and out of consciousness to give our minds time to relax and process information and to think about what we want to say next.

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Down-turned smile or reverse smile: Happens when the mouth is inverted into a down-facing “u” shape. It indicates high stress, unhappiness, anger, tension and depression.

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Downward gaze or eyes down: Eyes that are averted by looking down. Indicates submission, coyness, lack of certainty, defeat, guilt, shame or embarrassment.

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Dominance quotient: Abbreviated DQ is the relative desire to dominate situations and others. There are three types, they are a) low dominance and uncomfortable with power, b) accept power, but don’t go after it and resist it from others c) go after power whenever possible.

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Double wink: The double wink is done by blinking both eyes at the same time and holding them closed for a slightly longer period of time than that which is found in a natural blink. It is a less aggressive form of the single wink which some women find off-putting.

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Dressing for context: Consciously planning attire so as to carefully match or exceed (within limits) the dress of those in your immediate company so as to impress. It means avoiding clothing that is far too dressy or far to relaxed. This technique will yield the best possible results.

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Dressing for respect: Exceeding, or at least matching the fashion of those whom are in your immediate company so as to build authority. Wearing polished suites, shoes and being well groomed in the presents of more casual wear will yield leadership qualities whereas dressing similarly, like mirroring will help build rapport. Dressing for respect also says that wearing clothing that is stylish demonstrates respect for other people because it implies that one cares about the opinions of others.

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Dressing to impress or dress to impress: The act of consciously planning and coordinating attire to suit a given function such that it creates positive feelings in others. When done properly, dressing to impress commands respect and authority from others.

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Dry coughing: A nervousness becomes more intense a person can be heard dry-coughing. This is a limbic response to a reduction in salivation.

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Duchenne smile: This smile is called the honest smile and its giveaway is the appearance of crow’s feet at the corner of the eyes. It draws its name from the French researcher Guillaume Duchenne who used electrodiagnostics and electrical stimulation to istinguish between real and fake smiles.

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Duping delight: Paul Ekman coined the term “duping delight” to explain possible reasons for an increase in certain cues while lying was taking place. For example, fear and guilt associated with lying should decrease nonverbal cues such as eye contact and smiles, but the research shows us that eye contact usually increases during lying. Two possible explanations exist for an increase in eye contact and smiling. One is that smiling happens more often because the liar is experiencing pleasure with the act of lying which has been extensively proven through research on psychopaths, con-men and pathological liars, the second says that a smile is in fact due to stress and embarrassment which causes a stress smile.

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If you are only picking up on what is being said, you are missing more than half of the message.

For more information on BodyLanguage be sure to check out: BodyLanguageProject.com and the Ebook – The Body Language Guide to Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

Share and Enjoy:

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