Tag Archive for Nlp

Non Verbal Body Language Dictionary ::N::

by Christopher Philip • March 25, 2010 • 0 Comments

Did we forget a nonverbal term? Suggest it in the comment box or e-mail it direct, and we’ll be ecstatic to add it! With well over 500 terms, the BLP dictionary is growing to be the largest free nonverbal dictionary in the world! Brought to you exclusively by The Body Language Project! Visit our homepage for more free learning.

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Nail biting: Nonverbal signal where the finger nails are chewed. It signals apprehension, anxiety, discomfort and a lack of self-confidence.

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Namaste: A greeting gesture common in India and Nepal. It is done by pressing the hands together palm in palm with fingers pointed upward in front of the chest. A slight bow of the head is sometimes added.

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Nasal wing dilation or nose flaring: Technical term for flared nostrils indicating that a person is entering a fight or flight response and is preparing for action by increasing oxygen uptake.

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Natural smilers: These are people that have a genuine symmetrical smile where both corners of the lips turn upwards equally. Natural smilers will have more even smiles as both sides of their brain respond to pleasure. Smiles that are not genuine are more pronounced on the left side of the face since they are consciously being controlled.

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Neck exposures: Exposures of the neck are linked to visceral responses linked to submissiveness and are displayed during courtship by women and by children.

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Neck rubbing or neck touching: The neck hold, scratch or rub is a response to negative feelings and is a restraint posture as in “holding one’s self back” as one might do to a wily cat or dog by grabbing them by the scruff of the neck only in this case, it is done to one’s self.

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Negative body language: Negative body language is any nonverbal cue meant to portray discomfort such as fear, aggression, timidity or shyness. When compared to positive body language, negative body language tends to be more honest since we routinely hide our shortcomings and are instructed to do so as children.

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Neocortex or mammalian brain: “Neo” from the root “new” is meant to describe the mammalian brain which is more complex and used for higher order thinking and planning. The neocortex is divided into four lobes, the frontal lobe which handles reasoning, speech, movement, and emotions, the parietal lobe is related to orientation, sensory information, recognition, and perception, the occipital lobe which handles vision and the temporal lobe which handles sounds and smells. These parts of the brain are active in deception and also creating false or misleading body language gestures. It is also referred to as the “lying brain.”

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Neoteny: All children are born with a small nose, round chubby cheeks, soft skin, big eyes and a big round face. We call these features neotenous as they remind us of characteristics found near birth. Neotenous features evoke protective feelings in others, even if carried by adults.

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Nervous body language or nervousness: Includes cues that results from discomfort. They include increased eye blink rate, stuttering, dilated pupils, fidgeting, appearing unfriendly or tense, facial fidgeting, shaking, postural shifts or unrelaxed/reserved postures, twitches, shrugs, head movements, playing with objects, sneering, scowling, frowning, smiling, coughing, biting the lower lip, pressing the lips together, increases in chattiness or becoming quiet, wrinkling of the nose, increase in perspiration, blushing or turning pale, curling up in a ball, shifting weight from side to side, rocking in a chair, uncrossing and recrossing the arms or legs, tapping the fingers and increased swallowing.

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Nervous energy: Extra energy that courses through the body due to various stress hormones producing telltale nonverbal behaviours. A person who is anxious will tend to fidget more often, bounce their legs up and down, pace back and forth, play with their face, scratch their arms or even shake uncontrollably. When people have nervous energy, they use movement to burn it off or displace it.

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Nervous hands: Hands that shake, quiver, or fidget indicate stress through a surge of adrenaline. Sometimes nervous hands are disguised through clasping or tucking them into pockets.

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Nervous feet or anxious feet: The polar opposite to happy feet. Nervous feet are more jarring with heel bumps, kicks, and grinding. Angry feet can be even more aggressive and stomp.

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Nervous smile: A fleeting smile that quickly shows and disappears, the eyes are tensed and darting and the lips may quiver in fear. Other times the smile is long-lasting, more than ordinary eluding to strong discomfort and withholding of information.

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Nonelective physical characteristics: One of two types of outer physical traits that a person might have from which a person might be judged (the other being elective). A nonelective trait includes a person’s height, to some degree their weight, body proportions, their complexion, facial features, physical handicaps, the colour of their hair, their age and sex, their race, and so forth. These are important cues to the nonverbalist, but not nearly as much as elective characteristics since they are not chosen. Nonelective traits influence how people are perceived by others and can therefore predict in a general sense how they have been treated by others to produce their core character, but it does not predict their underlying emotions and personality.

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Nonthreatening body language: Nonverbal communication that indicates that a person is not looking for a confrontation and one who is friendly. These include open palm displays, erect, yet relaxed body postures, relaxed gaze, smiling, comfortable proximity, among others.

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Nonverbal awareness: The relative consciousness of silent messages in ones immediate surroundings and their inherent power.

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Nonverbal communication or NVC: Behaviour including gestures, postures, eye patterns, touch, facial expression, fashion, use of space and territory and paraverbal cues that are either directly or are indirectly used to convey meaning from one person to another.

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Nonverbal empathy: Like emotional empathy which is the capability to share in another’s feelings, nonverbal empathy is the capability to share in another’s emotions by connecting to their unspoken movements. It is related to rapport building, but of which no link between two people needs to established, just pure understanding. Mother’s who focus on their preverbal children to understand their desires and wishes by monitoring eye contact, eye direction, pointing, bouncing, use of touch and various other signals will have nonverbal empathy with their children.

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Nonverbal hot spots: An area of the body where active nonverbals are being emitted which provide useful clues to a nonverbalist.

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Nonverbal intelligence: The relative knowledge of the postures and gestures and their meaning coupled with the ability to apply them in a skillful way to bring success to all facets of life including personal and work.

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Non-verbalist (the): A person who is deeply fascinated with watching the silent language occurring all around them. The non-verbalist will watch people in all functions, at nightclubs, at the park, in malls, on television, or at the office. They will consume material and scientific research to learn and build on their resource base so they can master reading, what is to ordinary people, hidden thoughts and emotions as well as to build on and improve their relationships with others.

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Nonverbal leakage: Body language signals which are emitted from a person without their conscious awareness, or at times despite their conscious awareness, which provides useful, yet otherwise hidden information to others.

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Nonverbal physical mannerisms: Ways the body can be held to convey various meanings. For example, standing over someone as they work displays aggression, whereas placing chairs at forty-five degree angles, crossing the legs toward your partner, and avoid putting the hands together shows assertiveness and control. Other mannerisms like drumming the fingers and tapping the feet show nervousness.

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Nonverbal radar: The decision to be watchful of the nonverbal communication occurring all around a person. A person might have their radar turned on to study other people or they might relax it, such as with friends and family.

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Nonverbal vetting: A process of careful observation and evaluation of a person through nonverbal channels to assess their honesty, character, motives, and usefulness.

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Nose crinkle: Happens when the muscles between the eyes just above the nose contract forcing the skin around the nose to wrinkle. It signifies dislike and disgust and can happen in fractions of a second making it very reliable.

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Nose touch: Touching the nose with the hand is a discomfort gesture linked to anxiety and so is a pacifying gesture. Other times it provides clues that a person is lying.

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Nose turning: A signal of dislike or disbelief where the nose momentary twitches to the side. It is as if a person is moving their nose away from a disagreeable smell.

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Nose up gesture: A confidence display where the chin comes up and is opposite to the head down submissive posture.

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Not OK people: People that are uncomfortable with who they are. They have shoulders hunched and carry a negative facial emotions. You may naturally feel wary when around them without reason.

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NLP: Abbreviation for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. NLP is a system developed to help induce behavioural changes and improve communication between colleagues as well as to re-train thinking in business. It was developed in the 1970s where two researches in California, Richard Bandler and John Grinder noted that the predominant research into human behaviour focused on analysis rather then retraining thinking patterns. NLP is driven by defining positive outcomes, understanding how other’s perceive particular circumstances and in identifying the roots by which thoughts affect images and sound or feelings.

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The Body Language Project is the result of a decade of personal research including a thorough review of over 60 primary scientific research journal articles. Learning body language forms the perfect foundation for success in ALL your communication.

If you are only picking up on what is being said, you are missing more than half of the message.

For more information on BodyLanguage be sure to check out: BodyLanguageProject.com and the Ebook – The Body Language Guide to Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

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Non Verbal Body Language Dictionary ::G::

by Christopher Philip • March 23, 2010 • 0 Comments

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Gait or bipedal gait: Refers to the style or mechanics of locomotion in humans and animals. Scientists have identified thirty six different types of gait in the human species. They include the hobble, the mince, the glide, the bounce, the stride, the wiggle, the dart, the prance and the run.

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Gazing adoringly: An eye pattern that stems from infatuation and deep love and affection that lacks any negative emotion whatsoever. The eyes and eyelids relax and move freely from each eye to the mouth and lips, with brief glances to the rest of the face including hair and ears. Gazing adoringly happens during courtship between couples and between mothers and their newborn infants as they bond to each other.

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Gaze avoidance or averting eyes: When a person purposely prevents or avoids eye contact, either to show disinterest, to scorn, or to show a difference of opinion or even submission.

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Gazing: A gaze is an inviting display of warmth where positive emotions are attached to the face making it appear softer. Opposite to the gaze is the stare which acts like daggers shooting invisible arrows into the face of another. Eye gaze reveals cues to interest, attention, affiliation, intimacy, approval, dominance, aggression and openness to personal involvement.

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Gaze omission: Defined as a failure to look at someone without intending to (rather than avoidance).

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Gravity defying body language: Body language that is a measures a person’s exuberance and demonstrates that they feel happy. It includes raising the arms, having a bounce in the step, swinging hands while walking, having an upright posture and so forth. When sports players score a goal, they celebrate by expending energy that seems to be in no short supply by flinging their arms in the air.

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Genital framing: A posture where the hands and fingers draw attention to the genitals. Men can genital frame by placing their thumbs in belt loops and aiming the fingers toward their penis and women can place their hands on their hips aiming the fingers in the same direction.

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Genuine emotions: These are facial expressions that usually only last a fleeting moment, only to quickly disappear. Facial expressions that last too long and are poorly timed with events are usually insincere.

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Gesticulation: The use of the hands to add colour and meaning to language. Gesticulation includes movements of the hands such as hitting motions, cutting, begging and so forth.

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Gestures or gesture: A form of nonverbal communication or body language that produces specific messages and meaning. They include movements of the hands, face, and body, but do not include other facets of body language such as proxemics, facial expressions and postures, which are ways in which the body holds itself to display meaning. Gestures include emblems, that are used to replace specific words in speech, and illustrators which are used to colour language, in addition to sign language which is an entire set of body movements used to replace verbal speech altogether.

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Glide (the): An elegant gait type characterized by short but deliberate movements of the feet.

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Greeting gestures: These includes motions designed to greet others and are different across cultures. They include handshaking, bowing, waving, full salaam, namaste, cheek kissing, hugging, hand kissing and so forth.

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Greetings: These include gestures aimed at welcoming someone after a separation or done upon meeting someone for the first time. They include waves, handshakes, hugs, salutes, bows, curtseys, and so forth and are culturally specific.

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Grief muscle: The French call the area between the brows, the “grief muscle” and is activated to pull the eyebrows together to express both pain, as well as when you wish to inflict it. This muscle is sometimes flashed across the face as a microexpression.

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Grief or sorrow: A general lose of positive energy which tends to override other emotions. Signs of grief include tears, listlessness, inability to complete common tasks, isolation, apathy, downcast eyes, relaxed facial muscles, slumped body, motionless or slow movement.

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Grin or smirk: This smile indicates smugness and arrogance. It is a tight lipped smile with the addition of a degree self satisfaction for good measure. The smirk has accompanying dominant body language such as head back, shoulders back, open postures along with dialogue riddle with exuberant pride.

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Grinder, John, T.: Graduate of the University of San Francisco in the early 1960’s and bests known for his work in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) with Richard Bandler.

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Grooming and preening: These have two unrelated message in body language. One meaning says that a person is keeping their bodies clean and presentable to show the world that they are in good mental health since it is one of the first characteristics that becomes lax when disease sets in. Preening can also be used to show detachment from conversations through eye contact avoidance and attention displacement which is the case when eyes avoid contact with another in order to remove imaginary lint.

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Group dynamics: The study of how people interact in clusters drawing on fields such as psychology, sociology and communication studies including nonverbal body language. When nonverbalist examine people in groups, a complex array of body language occurs of which is not present in dyadic situations. When looking at groups it is possible to determine hierarchy, social status, friendliness or lack thereof, attraction and repulsion, amongst many others.

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Guiding body language: Using a hand to lightly push on another person’s back to move them in a desirable position, pulling someone in when shaking hands, using a finger to beckon someone closer, or using alluring eye contact are all ways to influence people to move in ways desirable.

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Guillaume Duchenne: French researcher Guillaume Duchenne was first to research smiles using electrodiagnostics and electrical stimulation to distinguish between real and fake smiles. The honest smile has also been named after him; the “Duchenne smile.”

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Guilty knowledge: Nonverbal body language that shows discomfort such as hand wringing, foot and hand withdrawal, pacifying behaviours, leaning away, stiff postures and movements, unsmiling lips, furtive looking about, restlessness and tension due to the stress associated with lying.

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Gustatory processing: A secondary way of processing information like visual and auditory except the primary means involves the sense of taste. It falls out of the normal realm with which people process information they receive but is occasionally referred to as a vestige. People will use terms such as the following when they refer to their gustatory sense: This just rolls off the tongue. This deal is sweet like candy. Don’t be so bitter. What a juicy story.

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If you are only picking up on what is being said, you are missing more than half of the message.

For more information on BodyLanguage be sure to check out: BodyLanguageProject.com and the Ebook – The Body Language Guide to Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

Share and Enjoy:

Non Verbal Body Language Dictionary ::E::

by Christopher Philip • March 22, 2010 • 0 Comments

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Ear blushing: Reddening of the ears due to emotional stress.

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Ear grab or ear rub or ear rubbing: The ear grab refers to a subconscious desire to “hear no evil” and is done by reaching up and pulling the ear in response to hearing or saying discomforting things.

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Echoing: Is like mirroring where similar body postures are replicated, but of which happen sometime later. It is a technique that makes the rapport building process more subtle. In echoing, postures and gestures are not concurrent with what is going on with others, but instead happen after some time has elapsed. To be effective, echoing happens within thirty seconds to a minute of separation, but can even happen with several minutes of separation, where only subtle rapport is felt.

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Ejector seat position: A sitting position where the hands are placed on the thighs near the knees and the body leans forward onto them indicating a readiness to leave. One foot might also be extended forward in the direction one wishes to leave.

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Eibl-Eeibesfeldt, Irenaus: Born in 1928, he is the founder of human ethology and has contributed many studies regarding human behaviour.

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Ekman, Paul: Ekman was born in 1934 and is noted for his extensive work on facial expressions and emotions. His key finding is that facial expressions are universal and not culturally determined denoting a biological or inherent origins rather then learned or cultural. The key emotions include anger, disgust, fear, joy, sadness and surprise.

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Elective physical characteristics: One of two types of outer physical traits that a person might have from which a person might be judged (the other being nonelective). An elective trait includes the type of fashion chosen, tattoos, piercing, hygiene, hair style, use of make-up, accessories, and so forth. These are important cues to the nonverbal reader since they are chosen by the wearer and so can predict underlying emotions, characteristics and personality about a person. These elective characteristics tell about who a person would rather be.

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Embarrassment (nonverbal): Nonverbal signals that indicate discomfort due to being out of place or being put on the spot with unwanted attention. It is frequently confused with anger, defensiveness, or nervousness because people often wish not to be perceived as embarrassed. It includes signals such as blushing and trembling, in addition to submissive postures such as lowering the head, turning the shoulders inward or away, avoiding eye contact, nervous laughter, shaking the head, and a freeze response which includes reduced movement overall, less gesturing and a loss for words or fleeing so as to escape the negative stimuli.

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Emblems: Quotable gestures that have a direct verbal translation which are culturally specific which can be used as replacement for words. The middle finger is an obvious gesture to Westerners and so too is the peace signal (or V-sign) which can also mean victory or and insult in other cultures.

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Emotional body language: Any body language that serves to display feelings such as fear, anger, sadness, timidity or shyness, disgust, and happiness.

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Emotional commitment: In body language it refers to the lack of objectivity a nonverbalist might experience due to a premature prediction. Because people have fallible traits, they may have a deep desire to maintain an inaccurate assessment instead of modifying their predictions as new information is presented.

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Emotional downtime: Research shows that every three seconds, on average, people ‘slip away’ to be with their own thoughts and internalize what is happening around them. This ‘downtime’ allows our brains the time it needs to process, the information that is happening all around us. People that are taking downtime will exhibit characteristic body language such as appearing blank in the face, pauses in breathing, subtle chewing of the lips, or very brief eye freezes or glazing over.

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Emotional intelligence: Abbreviated EQ is a relative measure of a person’s awareness of emotions in others as well as their relative ability to deal with them in a positive way. A part of EQ is the understanding of emotional communication coupled with the ability to emphatically convey emotions to others.

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Emotional short-circuiting: A primarily limbic response that overrides logical thought sending a person into fits of anger, panic, fear and so forth, preventing them from doing constructive work and instead sending them into various unproductive behaviour eluded to through nonverbal channels. Only a well tuned individual such as those in the armed forces, police, paramedics, firefighters and other high stress professions can overcome emotional short-circuiting from occurring.

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Emotional suppression: Occurs when a person tries to suppress or hide emotions from others especially through their nonverbal channels.

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Emotions: Most researchers agree that the following six emotions tend to be recognized by all cultures: happiness (enjoyment), distress (sadness), anger, disgust, surprise and fear.

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Emphasis: Gestures that usually indicate honesty though greater than normal commitment. They are “over-the-top” and have a higher amplitude that ordinary gestures and might even be repeated several times. Emphasizing gestures also makes them more memorable and therefore more useful when trying to deliver important information.

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Emphatic gestures: Gestures that reinforce spoken words such as finger jabbing, batoning or chopping hands, hand clapping, foot stomping and so forth.

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Encroaching: Body language that takes advantage of proxemics to violate a person’s personal space and territory. It involves standing too close, standing over someone by exploiting height differences, touching when un-welcomed, and even raising voices or the volume of music to violate the privacy and comfort of others.

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Endorphins: A natural painkilling hormone that is released to sooth the body as a result of touching from others or the self and high physical stress or strain. Self soothing or stroking such as rubbing the hands, the arms or the hair are nonverbal cues indicating a need for endorphins to sooth and that stress is present.

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Energy Displacement: When someone talks about energy displacement and body language they are talking about movements that spawn relief. For example, someone that is nervous or excited will rub their legs, but they can also rub their hands together or stroke an object vigorously. The action gives them something to do and also allows them to release some of their pent-up energy.

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Enthusiasm (nonverbal): Refers to the relative amplitude that is carried through on the nonverbal message. We say that a person is enthusiastic when they gesture with exaggerated motions, commit to them throughout their message, use different variations if messages are misinterpreted, and sometimes even repeat them. Using arms in speech such as pointing, hitting the fist against the palm, jumping up and down, raising the voice and flashing the eyes, are just a few examples of showing enthusiasm. Enthusiasm has been positively tied to honesty in nonverbal messages.

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Environmental cues or artifacts: These are objects that form part of a person’s habitat (house, office, etc.) which provide clues to their character and disposition. They include a person’s automobile, their house and how it is decorated, their accolades in their office, photographs they keep on the wall and so forth.

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Erythrophobia: A term applied to a medical condition that creates blushing due to the fear of blushing. Blushing is a reflex controlled unconsciously by our sympathetic nervous system, but in people with this condition the mere fear of blushing causes them to blush, and so they blush much more frequently with minimal stimulus. In body language, it is a misleading nonverbal message since the conditions by which they occur are somewhat detached from a regular person. In other words, the condition produces blushing that does not indicate severe stress or discomfort.

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Escape movements: Any body language that indicates a desire to leave a situation. The most common type of cue includes pointing the toes toward the doorway. A second cue is casting the eyes in any direction other then conversation at hand to seek ways of exiting.

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Ethology: From the Greek work “ethos” meaning “character” is the scientific study of animal behaviour, however in recent times it has been extended to human behaviour and social organizations. Because of its origins, it is a subtopic of zoology. The study of ethology draws from many other disciplines including ecology, evolution, neurology, physiology, and when applied to humans, psychology, sociology or biopsychology. Ethology follows animal emotions, animal cultures and sexual behaviour. A large part of the framework by which behaviour is typed is based on evolution by natural selection. When ethology deals with humans it strongly relates to inherited or natural body language.

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European leg cross (the): A sitting position whereby the leg is crossed neatly over the other. It is the most common seating position in European, Asian and British cultures.

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Evaluative body language or critical evaluation: Gestured that indicate that a person hasn’t yet, but is working toward a decision. They include chin stroking or hand resting on cheek or chin, removing or putting on glasses, neck rubbing, stoking the side of the nose, looking upward and so forth.

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Evasive actions: Nonverbal body language such as distancing, turning away, eye avoidance and turning the feet toward an exit that indicate a desire to escape a stimuli.

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Evil eyes: Unblinking staring eyes fill with contempt.

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Exhaling or “blowing off steam”: A rapid expulsion of air indicating tension or frustration.

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Expansive movements: A dominance driven response to appear larger and more authoritative. It includes leg and arm spreading, puffing out the chest, placing the hands on the hips, and so forth. Men are usually those who use expansive movements whereas women typically use diminutive movements which are the polar opposite.

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Extended eye blink or extended blink or extended eye closure: The extended eye blink is performed by arrogant individuals as they temporarily shut off the outside world as if it were irrelevant. They are sending a message to others that what they are doing and feeling isn’t worth their energy and thought and that they either bore them, or they are superior to you. The extended blink is a form of eye blocking which protects a person from distasteful images and ideas.

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Extravagance: A person who habitually goes over the top with the objects and events in their life. This type of person is usually more concerned about what other people think and have a desire to be accepted. Someone can be said to be extravagant if they own expensive toys especially if they are rarely used.

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Extravagant dresser or extravagant fashion: A type of style which is more focused on style rather than on comfort. This type of dresser is image conscious, suffers from poor self-esteem and has a desire to be accepted by others. Extravagance includes expensive watches, colour coordinated accessories, manicured nails and expensive haircuts.

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Extroverts: People that become energized by stimulus and seek out noisy and busy environments. Extroverts have a high tolerance for stimulus and require a lot to keep themselves amused. Amusement parks, busy downtown areas, any place with lots of movement and loud noises make the extrovert feel at ease.

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Eye accessing cues: A technique stemming from NLP that assesses thoughts based on eye movements. For example, eyes up and left indicates a visual imagined thought which can provide clues to lying, whereas up and right indicates visual remembered.

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Eye aversion: Eye aversion is used to prevent other from resorting to an attack response and prevents others from seeing us as a threat. Subordinates commonly avoid eye contact with dominant individual to indicate submission and respect.

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Eyeball assault: When a person becomes overly aggressive with eye contact. Eye assault happens when men appear to undress women, or stare other men down. Women might appear to give “dirty looks.” Assault is a matter of length and type. Lingering stares of unbroken eye contact is the high of eyeball assault. Eyeball assault violates the moral looking time.

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Eye blink rate: Refers to periods of excitement as it relates to an increase in blinking. The more we blink the more we are prepared for action as we keep our eyes moist. Pronounced eye blinking can happen during sexual arousal and attraction or while under pressure. A rapid series of eye blinks can also indicate an inner struggle or distress.

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Eye blocking: A term used to describe eyes that are constricted by squinting, covered with the hands, or shielded in any other way, in response to negative stimuli.

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Eyebrow cock: A mixed eyebrow movement where one eyebrow is raised while the other is lowered. It represents both aggression and fear at the same time due to the division of high and low, and when mixed, indicates suspicion or skepticism.

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Eyebrow flash: The eyebrow flash has been studied for decades most notably by Eibl-Eibesfeldt and has been shown to be a long distance universal social greeting. It is a sort of nonverbal “hello”. The eyebrow flash happens very briefly and lasts only about one-sixth of a second.

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Eyebrow hold: Happens when the eyebrows raise and pause for a second when someone seeks an approval gesture such as a head nod or vocal agreement. It indicates a lack of knowledge or even helplessness. Politicians and children do this often when they seek approval, it says “So, what do you think, have I don’t a good job?”

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Eyebrow(s) knit: The eyebrows are raised simultaneously and drawn inward toward each other producing both horizontal creases in the forehead and vertical creases between the eyebrows. It signifies intense grief and anxiety.

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Eyebrow lowering: Eyebrows that are lowered indicate confrontation, anger and aggression, but if they are dropped low enough and kept low, they indicate deep weakness and insecurity.

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Eyebrows shrug: The eyebrows are raised, held for a moment, then lowered. It signifies mild, yet unpleasant surprise and may be used in speech to emphasize certain important points.

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Eye coding: Nonverbal communication done exclusively through eye contact and eye patterns. Eye coding is the conveyance of meaning and information between two or more people, usually women (and gay men). It is especially applicable in PUA where women will approve or disapprove of the pick-up of others in their group based on looks alone. In other words, eye coding is when women verify the impressions of their friends of the man who has approached. Conveyed meaning include “I think this guy is cute/creepy”, “We should leave”, “I’m okay, you can go” and so forth.

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Eye contact: Refers to two people looking directly into each other’s eyes (versus their toward their face, mouth or body).

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Eye direction: Eye movements are a key component of NLP whereby eye direction outlines thought process. For most right-handed people, eye movement up and to the left is a signal of accessing a visual memory, movement up and right means that a person is trying to construct a visual image. Eyes either right or left, but still level, indicate an auditory process such as remembering sounds and words. Down and left indicate internal dialogue or self talk and down and right indicate a tactile or visceral feeling. When the eyes are straight ahead, unfocused or dilated they signal visual or any sensory information.

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Eye flash: The eye flash lasts on average for only 0.75 seconds and is a momentary widening of the eyelids during a conversation. It includes no involvement of the eyelids. The widening is usually wide enough to reveal the sclera which is the whites of the surrounding the iris. The eyeflash when given by a speaker, emphasizes specific words being spoken and can serve to change the meaning of a given word or phrase. It normally accompanies adjectives rather than any other parts of speech, and women use it more often them men.

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Eye flutter or eye fluttering: An increase in the rate of blinking in response to arousal, nervousness or concern. The eyes flutter in response to an internal struggle.

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Eye-gaze: Happens when the gaze is directed toward the eyes of another but of which that person might not reciprocate (as in mutual gaze).

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Eye gaze behaviour: Eye patterns that show hidden meaning and hidden thoughts.

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Eye glasses body language: Eye glasses carry many stereotypic nonverbal messages, most of which are positive. Researchers have found that subjects rate wearers of glasses are more intelligent, knowledgeable and studious. In fact, they are attributed with an increase in IQ. In contrast, when women wear glasses with provocative attire they conjure images of naughty librarians and so carry multiple meanings. Eye glasses though can also decrease social quotients when the remaining nonverbals don’t measure up producing an image of nerdiness.

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Eye movements: Originated by American psychologist Grinder and Bandler and part of NLP – eye movements, specifically directions, are useful in predicting channels of thought accessed by a person. They can signify recalling sights, smells, tastes, or tactile memories. When people remember things they saw, their eyes will move upwards, if they recall something they heard, they will look to the side, emotions are recalled by looking down or to the right, and when accessing constructed memories, people will look down and to the left.

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Eye rolling or eye shrug: This cue is done by rolling the eyes around in a semi circle from bottom to top, or looking straight up. It says disbelief as in “I can’t believe you just said this, you are a fool”, contempt, sarcasm, and a lack of respect.

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Eye rubbing: Occurs as the hand comes up and rubs the eye with the eyelid closed. This is widespread gesture indicating a negative thought and disbelieve in what is being said. The underlying thought is that a person “can’t believe what they are seeing.”

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Eyes defocused or eyes unfocused: When the eyes are unmoving and stare blankly. Indicates that attention is focused inward rather than outward.

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Eyes flutter or batting eyes: When the eyelids are opened and closed in rapid succession. Used to invoke feelings of protectiveness in others by appearing more childlike.

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Eyes glistening: Eyes that appear moist due to active tear ducts. Indicates arousal that is an order less than that which produces actual tears. It can show passion, love, anguish, distress, or bereavement.

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Eyes multi-blink: A rapid eyelid movement open and closed when a person is on the verge of tears.

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Eyes narrowing or eyes squinting or furrowing: When the eyelids are compressed constricting the eyes. Indicates contempt, distaste and distain.

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Eyes super-blink: An exaggerated closing of the eyelids that is slow in speed but has a high amplitude. It is used to indicate feigned surprise as in “I can’t believe what I’m seeing.”

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Eyes weep or crying: When the eyes produce secretions due to extreme pain or joy.

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Eye widening: Eye widening is a positive nonverbal cue indicating that someone is observing positive stimuli that bring them joy and happiness. The size of the eyes directly indicates how positive someone is about a topic or other stimuli.

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If you are only picking up on what is being said, you are missing more than half of the message.

For more information on BodyLanguage be sure to check out: BodyLanguageProject.com and the Ebook – The Body Language Guide to Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

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